but PLEASE... give me a hint! "Gimme a freakin' bone!"
Um... yeah. And that's exactly how I feel right now. What am I supposed to be doing right now? Hopefully what I'm doing, but a little direction couldn't hurt, could it? Is there a cosmic rule that says no clues? I feel like I don't have a place in the world... which is actually true, just not what I want to hear. Its just me wandering around, hoping that where I'm headed is somewhere good. But I just don't know and that's what scares me.
I've become accustomed to the fact that I now live back in my hometown in Montana, I even like the fact that I've come back. Seen some old friends, am able to spend time with family that I never really took time to do when I could, and got some closure on some things. I just want to know one thing: Now what? Somehow I think that alot of people have the same question. Unfortunately, there's really no clear answer. Just one foot in front of the other.
I know I'm being vague, which isn't good since I know I haven't written in a while... a full two weeks to be exact. I have some excuses... I was sick pretty much since I wrote that last journal entry (Tuesday, Jan 29 was the worst). This week was okay, but I keep on coughing and hacking. I wonder when that will go away. Potentially it was a touch of bronchitis, but oh well now, I suppose.
Basically, to sum up those missing two weeks: The guy I talked about earlier hasn't been texting me nearly as often, there's been a change in management (my supervisor is someone else essentially), my family crisis has been averted (at least on the surface), and I haven't been able to get in touch with anyone outside of Montana. That last part is actually kind of annoying.
My friend is getting married in August and I wanted to call her and a couple other people to chat since I haven't been able to lately. Basically, no one calls me. Or, they call me and I don't hear the phone ringing. I was in a concert type thing yesterday and of course someone tries me when the heavy metal band is playing. Not only can you not hear it ringing, you can't feel it either since everything is vibrating... Grr.
So anyway. I miss everyone in Seattle (or rather that I got to know in Seattle). I hope you all are doing well and having fun. Call me. Seriously.
"Do you know what innocence is?... it's more than an absence of guilt. It's having faith that there's goodness in the face of cruelty and pain." JOA 219
Sunday, February 10, 2008
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4 comments:
JODI. you have a BLOG. that you still post on. that talks about your life and what is going on. i did not KNOW! i thought you had fallen off the face of the earth (if it were flat, if it had a face, etc.) and yet here you are (which i'm sure i would have found out sooner had i picked up a phone or other more recent technology than facebook).
good to know. hello! how are you?
oh, this is katie by the way. van loo. katie van loo. yes.
oh sad. i posted that comment without reading your post yet. now my comment seems too relevant and a cheap attempt at placating your annoyance with no one calling you. well i can't do anything about it now (my comment, not your annoyance).
more friendship type things coming shortly. i'm getting really good at this online communication thing (work has been slow lately) but still lacking in the phone conversations. i'll work on it.
Hey Katie. Don't know if I leave a message here if you will get it or not. I'll leave a facebook post just in case as well. YES. Phone would be nice, but if not, no worries. SOME form of communication is all I want. From everybody. Internet, phone, text, notes, letters, postcards... whatever works. I just miss talking with everyone and currently have no idea what everyone is up to nowadays. But I was excited when I saw you had posted!!! You didn't die! :D Just kidding. Mostly.
Yes, keep blogging Jodi!
I have a blog which I am revamping and getting ready to reveal to the world as well. Soon I hope...
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