Thinking only of myself.

A friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer quite a while ago and has been fighting with it for several years. He was able to go through treatments and kick it a couple of times, but as with most cancers, it just shows up in a different place. A couple of months ago, he and his wife went to the City of Hope and were turned away as there was nothing more that could be done. Today I was informed his kidneys are failing and that he probably has only a few days left. I guess that he's already told his loved ones goodbye. How can you say goodbye to someone while they're still here? I'm making plans to travel to where he is soon. Hopefully I can see him again before the inevitable happens. Otherwise, I guess I can be there for his family.

You know, I honestly try to be upbeat a lot, (I know, you guys probably are like 'what?!', but at least I try) to help out others and not to cause them pain and worry. And when stuff like this happens, I always tell myself and others that they shouldn't be sad because there is no more pain or sorrow for the one passing on. But for myself, I know that's not the reason I'm sad. It was best stated (and now I'll show you guys how big of a nerd I really am) by Data in Star Trek: TNG, at Tasha Yar's memorial service (courtesy of IMDB.com)

Data: Sir - the purpose of this gathering... confuses me.
Picard: Oh? How so?
Data: My thoughts are not for Tasha, but for myself. I keep thinking how empty it will be without her presence. Did I miss the point?
Picard: No, you didn't, Data. You got it.

That's the best way I've ever heard it stated. The real pain of a loved one's passing is always for yourself.